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Met an old heartthrob lately?

2/9/2011

19 Comments

 
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It’s an old friend. And he’s calling to tell me that he has found the pretty Kashmiri girl he had a big crush on in college. (Well, actually he just, sort of, casually mentions it towards the end of 25 minutes of waning conversation with a self-conscious cough that  warns me something important is coming up). “The one you tossed a chocolate to at your friend’s wedding; who caught it with a lilting laugh? Who you could never tell how you felt about her? You found HER?” I ask, completely captivated. “Yes, yes. And YES!” he says. I can hear the smile in his voice and it just widens mine. 

In a moment, we’ve gone back 25 years and it took just one name to do that. Time travel is the biggest gift of a first crush or a college-time romance but you’ll know that only if you met an old heartthrob recently. The object of our once-upon-a-time affection  takes us zipping back (at the approximate speed of 19.5 years a second) to those days and those feelings that rushed down our veins at age 20 (plus or minus a few years) but no longer do since we now have blood sugar and bad cholesterol coursing there instead.

You might be a serious investment banker or a lecturer in a college or someone that sounds equally un-intriguing but let that special somebody take one step into your life (why life, even conversation) and suddenly your dimples gets deeper, your eyes get shinier, your heart starts beating faster than after a cardio workout (skipping/jogging included) and you actually start hearing violins and romantic Rafi numbers playing in the stereo inside the head.

If I were Stephen Hawking, I would call them black holes. These gals (and guys) who can make us time travel back into the past. When you enter at one end you are – a perfectly ordinary middle-aged person with greying hair, a little paunch, a quivering double chin, a delicate sprinkle of crows feet around the eyes – a responsible mom or dad, a devoted partner, a goal-oriented career professional with a big car, a flat in some hot location, an enviable collection of music or books or liquor, a dog and a kid or more. You are any (or all) of the above. But when you come out (more shaken than stirred – a bit  like the older James Bond’s favourite martini), you are a breathless collegiate stuck for words with the heart beating just a little faster, hoping for a chance to secretly run a comb through the hair. Just the way you were decades back, returning from the library and suddenly locking eyes with that special someone walking around the school or college building in romantic slow motion. When you recover your breath from that encounter you find that like Spiderman bitten you have suddenly found the power to enjoy a romantic piece of music, a seductive perfume or the fragrance of a flower that you thought had stopped blooming in the garden of life long back. Long time since you felt like that. Right? And it does feel good to be 18 or 19 once again. Particularly when you are 40, or 50, maybe even a few decades older. Wouldn’t be able to tell you for sure right now because I haven’t been there yet (but plan to since I’m taking my vitamin pills, walking down the right side of the road (which, here in India, is the left) and going for daily aerobics). 

Don’t read me wrong. I’m not advocating hitting on an old heart throb. Actually, I doubt you would have even felt this way if you had gone ahead and married those people and spent a few years smelling bad breaths and looking at sleep-swollen faces. When young, we seldom look beyond  that quirky style or those melting brown eyes for those delightful qualities that make relationships special. Like intelligence or sincerity or or sensitivity or sense of humour or even the ability to laugh together (that most of us now value higher than looks - even if we just want to have a good conversation with someone, leave alone spend a lifetime together). These are the little things that keep the magic alive in old relationships. If you've found all that with a present partner, you don't need this blogger to tell you: hang on to them. Because that's true love - so much more precious than time travel. 

So does that mean, you pinch yourself to sanity and look the other way when an old crush passes by. No, of course not. I would say receive them with a smile. They've got their own life and you’ve got yours. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. And if  someone's gifting you the power to time travel, happy journey! Viva old heartthrobs. May they live forever, even if only in our memories. 

19 Comments
noopur
1/9/2011 09:55:08 pm

Rachna beautifully written!! PJ is going to love it and give his blessings :) So true and simply perfect!!Poor Manoj....he ended up marrying his one big crush so no such excitement coming his way :)

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rsa course in sydney link
28/5/2012 07:30:45 pm

The blog gives information about the liquor license.Thanks for the information.Keep it up.

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rachna
29/5/2012 02:57:38 am

since this is not making sense do i assume it is a computer?

otsieno namwaya
2/9/2011 04:42:28 am

hahahaha!!! You have made my weekend. Keep up. Unfortunately, Stephen Hawking never the opportunity have experience that sort of heartthrob, though he writes a lot time and history!

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babu
2/9/2011 06:05:59 pm

Nice. Time travel works both ways. Fwd and backwards. Both take us on a journey of joy and happiness, only if we can retain the best and forget the worst. Most use to to rekindle the worst which is sad.

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sanjay
2/9/2011 08:56:56 pm

I feel that heartthrobs gives us the power to activate our old memories maybe good or bed but as time moves relation also change & to enjoy the heartthrobs one should have a healthy & good conversation mentaining the lemitations of present relation that is very important . nice written

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Anju
3/9/2011 01:29:55 am

Beautifully written !!

Precious memories to be cherished n ya they may not marry you but some great souls are there who depart gracefully from you, wanting good...just your good !! Life goes on !!

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Ritha Hegde
3/9/2011 09:43:42 pm

Sprinkle of crows feet? ha ha ha
I am sorry I am running out of variety of words in telling how good your articles are...this time I will just stick to beautiful :)
Rekindling my memories is surely what this article did too, so it took time before I came back from my 'aah those days'....so late comments!

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Mahendra
4/9/2011 02:25:31 am

This would have been a much more powerful piece had the writer shared her own experiences (on meeting her college / school hearthrobs).

Anyway, this is a subject worth giving some thought especially since Facebook is so popular in India, and it is enabling us to meet our hearthrobs of the past - thus this is serious (or thrilling - depends on your point of view....) stuff (have a look at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sticky-bonds/200909/extramarital-affairs-in-the-new-millennium to better understand what I am referring to)

My own experience was that it is better not to rake the glowing embers of the past....I agree with the sage who said that Marlyn Monroe was lucky she commited suicide at the age of 36 - since we now will always remember her as the girl fro "Seven Year itch" rather than the old hag battling with drug issues and desperately trying a comeback.

So we are better off living with the images of our heathrobs (aged 16), and holding that against our current ravaged by age spouses.

Isn't that what is supposed to make married life more spicy?

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Anima
4/9/2011 08:58:22 am

offho!! Dukhti rug choo dee.... Last time i saw that old hearthrob, he still looked really H-word... while all along i had hoped he would have turned into some bald, ponchy frog...:(...:)...

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BIG B
4/9/2011 01:01:34 pm

Once again beautifully written article....wow... yes few are fortunate to discover their loved ones and majority remains in silence or in dark...the value of your loved once/ friends one realises in older age when one is free from all incumbance,kids are settled ,busy in their own life and one is all alone or in self created asylum, one need the friends most and if one has one's own first crush/love then Life becomes easy to drag...ha ha to enjoy...I think thats the reason old age home concept evolved in western countries....but being with your loved one...one is in seventh heaven because company matters a lot....beautiful article once again Ma'am.....

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cecilia link
4/9/2011 02:11:43 pm

Dear Rachna, thanks to fb, I'm in touch with the ex's....I time travel only to gloat over the fact of how right they were in not marrying me.

I feel tenderly for them, but they don't shake or stir me like the guy I married. But yes the ex's are the dash of tangy lime on my shaken and stirred martini.

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Swapan Lahiri
5/9/2011 01:17:58 am

You started fantastically and transported us to our never-never-land, but towards the end I wish u had not started moralising - I feel the writer was overtaken by social norms. Brought me back to the present world too soon. Very interesting story can be built around it.Well written as usual.

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MAYA PATHAK
6/9/2011 03:33:13 am

Hi Rachna.... just now i red 'Met an old....'

Beautifully written....

god bless you....!

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PJ
6/9/2011 03:00:55 pm

Frankly, I received her with more than a smile....a red rose stem stuck between my teeth and a dark chocolat in my hand...
A crush is a crush so what if you met him/her after 30 years.....and so what if you both of you have a life of your own
;)

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Manoj
7/9/2011 05:47:13 pm

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Manoj
7/9/2011 05:48:45 pm

The feeling of being in love for the first time is very special and remains engraved in your memory. Time stands still. It will always bring a smile

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RITEN
8/9/2011 02:08:22 pm

Rachna,

In everybody's life there is a summer of '42 and more.destiny changes its course,for better or worse.there's a small part of you which stays back till death,whether U like it or not.The gallant ones only romanticise in the fleeting mind,woh hota to kya hota.But never,never to harm,to regret,to curse,that vibration of Love is not extinguished and it reaches the Objective,so amazing is nature's Telepathy.

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deepakgera
9/9/2011 07:22:57 pm

...ye dil ki itni sunder daastaan ko dimaag pe laa kar kyu band kar diya.....

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    Rachna Bisht Rawat is a full time mom and part time writer. She is married to an Army officer whose work takes the family to some of the most interesting corners of India.

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