What's pushing us into the arms (or dropping us at the feet) of gurus and life coaches?
Illustration by Naveen Kumar
Tell me if this gives a sense of déjà vu. Still groggy from last night’s hangover and pulling muck strings out of the eyes, you reach for the television remote when you are suddenly hit on the head (colloquially speaking) by a mind boggling bunch of gurus. Channel surf and you are alarmed by the horrifying variety in their shapes, sizes, sexes, fancy dresses, accents and tones - coaxing, cajoling, even frightening you towards the path of spiritual redemption.
I've no idea how they make you feel but they do make me yearn for the good old days when one had to suffer just one (though undeniably ugly) Dhirendra Brahmachari doing yogasanas on the TV set (that too only on Sundays). So what has brought on this sudden spurting supply of spiritual leaders? I guess there's only one answer: demand. Right from the times of Arjun who found his Parthasarthy, or charioteer, in Krishna – the life coach, we have always had gurus. Only now, they are around us in awesome numbers and manifestations. The guru no longer comes wrapped in loin cloth. He/she sports a cool hairstyle, designer clothes and more often than not, a Blackberry or an Iphone.
“Gurus and saints have always been around us and we always went to them for support and guidance,” agrees social anthropologist Nimmi Rangaswamy, researcher at Microsoft India Research Labs, Bangalore. What's new, she says, is their sheer commercialization and the magnitude at which it is happening. So what’s fueling this desperate demand? Is it the breakdown of the joint family system that gave us our path showers in parents and grandparents, cousins and siblings? Or is it the growing emptiness we are left with when we jet set across the globe in new age lifestyles that spare no time for healthy communication with friends and family? Or, something else?
According to Boston-based technocrat Prithviraj Banerjee, the reason why more and more people are searching for gurus is because as the basic needs of society get fulfilled, people move higher in Maslow's pyramid (towards self actualization) and start craving spiritual bliss. “With rising incomes we have more people in that layer and hence an increased awareness of the unfulfilled desire for our true selves,” he says. Nimmi feels there is a need to conform to a global lifestyle. “We have suddenly been catapulted into a lifestyle where we are jet setting across the world and drawing salaries we couldn’t have imagined 15 years back. This lifestyle has brought on its own needs. Personal trainers, grooming, a world class wardrobe have becomes imperative for those who want to fit in (or aspire to fit in) this new global milieu like VPs and GMs, film stars and models. Life coaches and therapists are part of the same lifestyle,” she says.
Life coach Malti Bhojwani feels people seek guidance because they have isolated themselves emotionally. So have modern lifestyles given us awesome salaries, personal trainers, swanky cars and big houses but also extracted a price for it in terms of deeper human interaction? “Spouses get so busy in modern lifestyles that couples often feel alone in their thoughts. They lack the intimacy that makes supportive interactions possible. We feel no one would understand deeply, care enough or have the time to really listen.” This "silence", according to Malti, has led to a growing need for personal development professionals.
Does rocketing ambition make us build walls around ourselves? Are we scared of appearing weak and would rather not discuss problems and unhappinesses even with friends or family? Malti says "yes" to both and adds that working with a coach is different from chatting with a partner, a parent or a friend, as it is a professional, confidential and unbiased relationship. “Our friends and family often have fixed ideas about who we are and what our past capabilities were which can sometimes hold us back from pursuing our new dreams and desires,” she explains.
In the new world, there is a growing tribe of people who openly call themselves atheists or agnostics. Prithviraj feels organized religions often distort the words of great gurus like Buddha and Jesus and this has led to people getting delinked from the true meaning of life. Dr Shyam Bhat, psychiatrist and integrative medicine specialist, agrees. “People who are disenchanted with religion are turning to psychology and there has always been an overlap between spirituality and psychology,” he says.
Shyam also points out that till some time back roles in society were very strictly defined – you were supposed to finish college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have children and then retire. All needs were categorized and taken care of, leaving you free to seek spiritual meaning in the end. Over the past decade there has been complete freedom and a sense of “normlessness”. You can be in college and buy your first house, you can live together without being married, and you may or may not have children. “There are no rules. This is good because it will eventually lead us to form our own rules but it is also a time of confusion and self doubt when some of us might need to seek direction,” he feels.
If we wish to be dramatic we can say that the winds of change are blowing. Girls who wear saris and cover their heads at pujas are equally comfortable changing into shorts and sipping vodka at the pub. The functions of family have changed, and often parents really don’t know how to guide their children because they have never faced such situations before. This might have brought on a need for professional help and there’s really no harm in seeking it – whether you need a life coach to show you the way to what you want or a trained psychiatrist to handle darker negative emotions.
If you ask me (or, even if you don't) I’d say, there are two people you need in your life. One: the path shower or the Krishna. The other: the shaman – the one who takes away your pain. These are the two who make life easier and more meaningful. If you have found both in friends and family, or even inside you, feel blessed. There is really nobody else you need. However, if you are seeking a guru by all means go for it. But pick intelligently. It’s a big market out there and right next to a truly enlightened person you risk running into a fraud.
This was the cover story for the Deccan Herald Saturday magazine. http://www.deccanherald.com/content/298576/india-guru-bazaar.html
Naveen Kumar is a gifted illustrator and photographer. Also, former DH colleague.
The new illustration made by Naveen which he felt suited the story better :)
I've no idea how they make you feel but they do make me yearn for the good old days when one had to suffer just one (though undeniably ugly) Dhirendra Brahmachari doing yogasanas on the TV set (that too only on Sundays). So what has brought on this sudden spurting supply of spiritual leaders? I guess there's only one answer: demand. Right from the times of Arjun who found his Parthasarthy, or charioteer, in Krishna – the life coach, we have always had gurus. Only now, they are around us in awesome numbers and manifestations. The guru no longer comes wrapped in loin cloth. He/she sports a cool hairstyle, designer clothes and more often than not, a Blackberry or an Iphone.
“Gurus and saints have always been around us and we always went to them for support and guidance,” agrees social anthropologist Nimmi Rangaswamy, researcher at Microsoft India Research Labs, Bangalore. What's new, she says, is their sheer commercialization and the magnitude at which it is happening. So what’s fueling this desperate demand? Is it the breakdown of the joint family system that gave us our path showers in parents and grandparents, cousins and siblings? Or is it the growing emptiness we are left with when we jet set across the globe in new age lifestyles that spare no time for healthy communication with friends and family? Or, something else?
According to Boston-based technocrat Prithviraj Banerjee, the reason why more and more people are searching for gurus is because as the basic needs of society get fulfilled, people move higher in Maslow's pyramid (towards self actualization) and start craving spiritual bliss. “With rising incomes we have more people in that layer and hence an increased awareness of the unfulfilled desire for our true selves,” he says. Nimmi feels there is a need to conform to a global lifestyle. “We have suddenly been catapulted into a lifestyle where we are jet setting across the world and drawing salaries we couldn’t have imagined 15 years back. This lifestyle has brought on its own needs. Personal trainers, grooming, a world class wardrobe have becomes imperative for those who want to fit in (or aspire to fit in) this new global milieu like VPs and GMs, film stars and models. Life coaches and therapists are part of the same lifestyle,” she says.
Life coach Malti Bhojwani feels people seek guidance because they have isolated themselves emotionally. So have modern lifestyles given us awesome salaries, personal trainers, swanky cars and big houses but also extracted a price for it in terms of deeper human interaction? “Spouses get so busy in modern lifestyles that couples often feel alone in their thoughts. They lack the intimacy that makes supportive interactions possible. We feel no one would understand deeply, care enough or have the time to really listen.” This "silence", according to Malti, has led to a growing need for personal development professionals.
Does rocketing ambition make us build walls around ourselves? Are we scared of appearing weak and would rather not discuss problems and unhappinesses even with friends or family? Malti says "yes" to both and adds that working with a coach is different from chatting with a partner, a parent or a friend, as it is a professional, confidential and unbiased relationship. “Our friends and family often have fixed ideas about who we are and what our past capabilities were which can sometimes hold us back from pursuing our new dreams and desires,” she explains.
In the new world, there is a growing tribe of people who openly call themselves atheists or agnostics. Prithviraj feels organized religions often distort the words of great gurus like Buddha and Jesus and this has led to people getting delinked from the true meaning of life. Dr Shyam Bhat, psychiatrist and integrative medicine specialist, agrees. “People who are disenchanted with religion are turning to psychology and there has always been an overlap between spirituality and psychology,” he says.
Shyam also points out that till some time back roles in society were very strictly defined – you were supposed to finish college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have children and then retire. All needs were categorized and taken care of, leaving you free to seek spiritual meaning in the end. Over the past decade there has been complete freedom and a sense of “normlessness”. You can be in college and buy your first house, you can live together without being married, and you may or may not have children. “There are no rules. This is good because it will eventually lead us to form our own rules but it is also a time of confusion and self doubt when some of us might need to seek direction,” he feels.
If we wish to be dramatic we can say that the winds of change are blowing. Girls who wear saris and cover their heads at pujas are equally comfortable changing into shorts and sipping vodka at the pub. The functions of family have changed, and often parents really don’t know how to guide their children because they have never faced such situations before. This might have brought on a need for professional help and there’s really no harm in seeking it – whether you need a life coach to show you the way to what you want or a trained psychiatrist to handle darker negative emotions.
If you ask me (or, even if you don't) I’d say, there are two people you need in your life. One: the path shower or the Krishna. The other: the shaman – the one who takes away your pain. These are the two who make life easier and more meaningful. If you have found both in friends and family, or even inside you, feel blessed. There is really nobody else you need. However, if you are seeking a guru by all means go for it. But pick intelligently. It’s a big market out there and right next to a truly enlightened person you risk running into a fraud.
This was the cover story for the Deccan Herald Saturday magazine. http://www.deccanherald.com/content/298576/india-guru-bazaar.html
Naveen Kumar is a gifted illustrator and photographer. Also, former DH colleague.
The new illustration made by Naveen which he felt suited the story better :)
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