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Confessions of a Facebook junkie

5/8/2011

24 Comments

 
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It’s a lonely Saturday evening and I’m sitting with a glass of wine, feeling sorry for myself till Facebook’s bright blue bordered home page hits me head on. Right across, I see Prithvi from Boston with his story of El Grande the sentient Mexican fan palm tree that talks to people and to the birds. He has posted his blog which is waiting to be read. It’s competing for my attention along with Rashmi the wide-smiled Vasudeva from Swansea, who wants to tell me all about her shoes (or, at least, someone’s shoes – I haven’t figured it out completely yet) on her very own blog post. There’s Aaja Panchi akela hai, a sweet Rafi song from a Dev Anand film that Richa the Delhi-based artist has posted with the message “Yesterday once more”. As I wait for it to upload I notice that Jyoti has just returned from the film Delhi Belly with a migraine and a review and Dipti still seems lost in the world of extreme astrophysics and the importance of silence while seeking answers – whether outside (in outer space) or inside (I think, she means stuff like soul). She has posted a clip from an Anil Ananthaswamy lecture that I want to listen to right after I’m through with the Dev Anand song.

Elsewhere in the world, there’s Meg, Leicester-based Ros’ little puppy yelping and scampering naughtily around her green lawn getting her tummy tickled by the kids in a home video and hey! Sanjiv has been blessed with a baby. He has put up an album of the new arrival that I absolutely must see. When I saw him last in real life, Sanju himself was just a little older than the baby he is holding in the picture and that makes me sentimental. Now, of course, on his Facebook profile shot the proud papa is sporting a moustache a Rathore king in Rajasthan would be proud of. I hunt around for Noopur the diva, my cousin, who recently shifted from Ahmedabad to Kuala Lumpur. I know she’s alone too because PJ (Piyush Jeejs - the husband) is on a trip home. Ah! There she is spending a day with her gym girlfriends looking quite gorgeous in a new blue polka dotted dress that I immediately plan to flick when I meet her in Bali later this year.  I miss Renee my vivacious pal from kindergarten days but it’s a weekend and she’s probably out socializing. No wait, there she is, making a cheeky comment on my status message. I type out a retort. There’s a quick ping and she has appeared on the chat window as if by magic with a “Hey! What are you doing on Facebook on a Saturday?” 

It’s just another evening on Facebook and I wonder why they call them virtual friends. They tell you stories, they sing you songs, they miss you when you’re not around, they make you smile when you’re upset, they make you laugh when you want to cry. They even give you company when you are alone at home and the hubby’s gone gallavanting to some pub in Bangalore from where he has sent you a cheery message saying he is listening to Rod Stewart with a glass of beer in his hands. Can friendship get more real than that? Facebook has changed our lives beyond recognition and if we leave the party now it will only be for another social network (Yes, Google + is pulling up its socks from right behind). And only if all our hundred plus friends and relatives are migrating as well.

Facebook has redefined friendships. And no, it’s not taking families away from each other all the time; it’s also bringing them closer sometimes. Every afternoon, in a small town in Punjab, nine-year-old Saransh comes back from school, has a quick bath and lunch and then sits down for an hour of playtime on Farmville, where he grows strawberries, rice, cotton and a host of other vegetables. To help him around, water his plants and feed them fertilizers he has Bunty mama, who has a virtual farm next door. In real life, Bunty mama migrated to London long before Saransh was born but the two have bonded over Facebook games, in spite of having met each other only twice.

Noopur, the KL-based diva I mentioned earlier, often gets a cheeky wall post from her son Paper Bag (named thus because he once shamed himself and offered  to wear a paper bag over his head), who is doing a media internship in South Korea. “Mom, need to talk to you; 9 pm tonight, Malaysia time?” “Sure” she types, adds a smiley as an afterthought and clicks the like icon on his post. Then closing the tab, she gets back to the stuffed capsicum dish she is baking for lunch. No, Facebook isn’t taking our kids away from us, its bringing them closer too. What is more, it is also making the warm embrace of the great Indian family a little warmer by bringing granddads, grannies, little kids, uncles, aunts, working sons and daughters who have migrated all over the world together in a tight group hug that keeps them in touch with what the others are upto.  

Those breathless Facebook virgins who believe that frustrated middle aged people are only making indecent proposals there are mistaken. That might be happening too but only with mutual consent. which makes it none of your business. (Unless it is your husband or wife being naughty, in which case it is none of our business). There is an option to ignore, block or report unwanted attention so it’s not such a big deal. And except for the kids, nobody on Facebook is a kid anymore. We can all avoid unwanted attention anytime we want. A social network is just an excuse.

And now, if you’ll excuse me I have to get back from this reverse sermonizing to the video that Tina has posted of her belly dancing class; tell the beautiful Reema where she can pick up a long flowery skirt for the summer; decipher the cryptic message sent by mad skydiver Satyendra who likes playing mind games; post my reaction to my Kiwi pal Julie Middleton’s status update on the Murdoch mess and make a sad face on Col JB’s (Jai Bahadur Singh's) romantic video that says he’s missing his wife in his deserted post on the China border. 

Did I say lonely Saturday evening? A mere slip of the typing fingers. Make that lovely Saturday evening. When you are between friends even an uncomfortable computer chair feels like a bean bag in a lounge bar. 

No names have been changed to protect privacy. Any resemblance to people on Facebook is intentional. If it sounds like you, it's probably you.


This article has appeared in the Deccan Herald. http://www.deccanherald.com/content/181642/confessions-facebook-junkie.html 

24 Comments
Tanu
5/8/2011 12:00:14 am

surprise, surprise! Any early bird prizes? NO? OK OK its still nice to be first, to have boldly gone where no man or woman has reached yet.
You couldn't have expressed it better if face book was paying you for it.
In this otherwise mad, crazy , busy life facebook is keeping relationships alive,friends connected,spirits high. It turns lonely saterday nights to lovely saterday nights, possibly helps many people stay married and others sane, helps you find lost people (and if you want to lose someone you wish you had never found, thats easy too).. ....And all this from the comfort of your favorite place............!

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6/8/2012 06:19:23 pm

Everything you described in the post about Confessions of a Facebook junkie is extremely good. In my opinion it’s the most amazing work I have never read. I like this information too and also i am waiting for some new updates.

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Ritha Hegde
5/8/2011 05:46:39 am

Cant agree more.
Sometimes its addiction, sometimes its the love, sometimes its just time pass, sometimes a boon, sometimes...I mean whatever it is, its been there connecting long lost people. Keeping people closer.
How would a situation be if I met a primary school friend suddenly in a facebook free world? I would say a hi, stammer on what are you doing and things like strangers do. But now, I think I can talk more about her vacation she had recently. 'Hey your trip to Singapore..I saw you had a blast'...its like you were never gone as friends.

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deepak gera
5/8/2011 02:38:25 pm

one more gud treat Rachna...nice to hear gud things about FB ...otherwise people just keep blaming ...aur kisi ko peele chawal de kar FB pe bulaya nahi gaya hai...

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otsieno
5/8/2011 03:47:54 pm

I thought I recognised him, only remotely, but i saw you there very clearly Rachna. Keep up the thril

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BIG B
5/8/2011 03:58:22 pm

Once again a beutiful article revealing our actual hidden feelings...yes Facebook is helped us to locate our old friends and do remind our golden days too....writing funny comments on wall indicates that still same strong feelings are flowing through what is used to be earlier.....it brings a broad smile on gloomy face and sometimes a big laughter....it also take back us in old memory lane .....wow..wine....on saturday....reminded me chilly chicken with beer, and CMEs days.....Addition of everything is bad so one has to draw a line that you are not addicted but taking it as medicine/revival of positivity in our heart and mind....I am fully in agreement that it has bought us together .......congrates ....very well written....when go to Bali, take me also...ha ha.....

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Neelu
5/8/2011 06:14:52 pm

wait till you start getting complaints from the ones who were'nt mentioned..and want to know how to delete a blank post that got posted by another slip of typing fingers..mus' be in the air...

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Rosalind Broomhall
5/8/2011 06:30:28 pm

I can't imagine life without it now. Via friends (and their pics) I can travel the world!

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Cecilia
5/8/2011 08:38:34 pm

Rachna...beautifully written, I was planning to hit the sack, but I guess I'll hand on to the fb site and catch up with with my friends...

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Swapan Lahiri
6/8/2011 02:24:13 am

Again beautifully written. The world of Facebook and now Google + somehow eludes my fancy although I'm a member. I envy the ease with which you seamlessly shift gears from the real world of your kitchen to the virtual one and vice versa. I think you've done justice to the title - however the junkie tag looks unjust.

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Julie Middleton link
6/8/2011 08:17:26 am

...the best thing for me about Facebook is being able to keep up with the day-to-day musings of mates overseas. I think it's the sharing of the little apparently not-so-important things in each other's lives as well as the big ones that nourishes a friendship ... and FB lets me do that. But otherwise I have very tight privacy controls!

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sanjiv dhir link
6/8/2011 03:47:39 pm

ya deeds...i was an over grown baby when u left n now i have a baby. time flies.
your article actually took me 20 years back in your garden, where uncle is reading his new paper with a cigarette lit, aunty reading some women magazine, u lying lazily on the conventional hammok built by chotu, n we fighting over a broken cricket bat nailed from different angles in a make shift pitch of ours, next to the make shift firing range tiger was then Col. B.S. Bisht now BRIG......."those were the best days of my life"... your write up has rekindled old memories....thanx deee

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Santosh Rawat
6/8/2011 06:28:20 pm

Thank God you didn't mention the nasty joke about FB I forwarded to you Rachna. But actually FB has helped me remain in touch with family and people I know and that is good enough for me .... thanks, very well written .. not surprised at all to see Tanu being first to comment on the subject ... I like Julie's comments too ...

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Charles Mabbett
6/8/2011 06:32:19 pm

There used to be a one line joke that you're never alone with a schizophrenic (not a true representation of schizophrenia, and no offence meant). Nowadays you can quite rightly say that you're never alone if you're on Facebook.

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Geetanjali Kapoor link
6/8/2011 10:48:43 pm


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renee grewal
7/8/2011 02:07:02 am

'Extraordinary......this n each article you write could only have come from the pen of a writer who can't help being an enchanter'.... masterpieces......as full of incidents, as richly and roundly characterized with an incomparable vividness the true picture and so much more...works of high explosiveness........exceptional work...""Brilliant writer , brilliant articles""lov reading each one of thm....keep up""grrrrrrt goin""

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ather
9/8/2011 01:15:30 am

I am glad to count you amongst my friends Rachna-if not a facebook friend. Yes-it's true...this old dinosaur of a hack is not on facebook! I will have to stick to more archaic ways of writing, phoning or meeting just to stay in touch!

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noopur
10/8/2011 11:14:15 pm

hey you captured the spirit of facebook pretty accurately :) it could have been a day in my life...and thanks for calling me the 'KL based Diva....'I guess the blue polka dot dress is yours !!!!

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mad skydiver
24/8/2011 04:52:08 am

Good One !!
Bet this was one of your quick ones.
....and those were not "cryptic messages" but full fledged expressions from a man with few words (or one with a lack of them)....ask Prithvi Raj Banerjee...he will confirm that, in person i give my reviews by raising or lowering my eyebrows.....and when away, through telepathy !!! :-)

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best forum link
27/3/2012 07:17:43 pm

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Rachna
7/4/2012 09:31:54 pm

Thanks. Do visit again. If you leave me yr email I can post u fresh updates.

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buy Facebook fans link
17/4/2012 05:38:49 pm

Facebook has provided a new marketing strategy for my business promotion. Really, it is quite appreciative source to promote business online.

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buy facebook likes link
17/4/2012 06:36:51 pm

it is very difficult to confess something on facebook, because huge amount can see what are you posting.

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2/9/2012 05:49:56 pm

All the efforts you put in the blog post is appreciable. Entire blog is informative. Looking forward to read more blogs and contents from you. Wish you luck!

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    Rachna Bisht Rawat is a full time mom and part time writer. She is married to an Army officer whose work takes the family to some of the most interesting corners of India.

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