These guys are rich, they’re famous, they’re loaded with enough cash to buy themselves the most exclusive labels in the world. They have no excuse to not be perfectly dressed 24 x 7. Yet they scared us out of our wits with their weird clothes and strange hairdos. Do we excuse them for inflicting their bad taste on us? No, we don’t! For your reading pleasure, we are aiming some rotten eggs and tomatoes at the celebs who made holes in our eyes with their dress sense. Actually, a complete lack of it.
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Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan
Mrs Rai-Bachchan turned up at the Cannes red carpet in
a black and white ensemble with a tail (spelling intentional) that made her look
like a killer whale thrown out of water. She could have fooled us into believing she was auditioning for a role in the next Finding Nemo film. Only, she wasn’t looking cute enough. She also brought along a geometry box that passed off as a hand bag.
Mrs Rai-Bachchan turned up at the Cannes red carpet in
a black and white ensemble with a tail (spelling intentional) that made her look
like a killer whale thrown out of water. She could have fooled us into believing she was auditioning for a role in the next Finding Nemo film. Only, she wasn’t looking cute enough. She also brought along a geometry box that passed off as a hand bag.
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Sushmita Sen
Giving Rai bad clothes company this year was her pal from the
Miss India days. At the IIFA awards, Sen had the gall to show up in a red and black satin housecoat that she had most definitely borrowed from the late Ashok Kumar. All she needed was a pipe and a cough and she could have passed off as Dada Moni reincarnated. To make her outfit weirder, she teamed it up
with pointy black witch boots that had audiences hoping she would get on a broom and fly off into the sunset.
Giving Rai bad clothes company this year was her pal from the
Miss India days. At the IIFA awards, Sen had the gall to show up in a red and black satin housecoat that she had most definitely borrowed from the late Ashok Kumar. All she needed was a pipe and a cough and she could have passed off as Dada Moni reincarnated. To make her outfit weirder, she teamed it up
with pointy black witch boots that had audiences hoping she would get on a broom and fly off into the sunset.
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Shahrukh Khan
Shahrukh does it best when he sticks to his black suits. But
this year he decided to get jackets cut out of the velvet sofa upholstery
his wife was throwing out. He blinded us with shiny blue blazers and red girlie
beads and bands decorating his pony tail. The dark Ray Bans were the
only saving grace. Actually, we needed those more that him to protect our
sensitive eyes from the light bouncing off his disco dress.
Shahrukh does it best when he sticks to his black suits. But
this year he decided to get jackets cut out of the velvet sofa upholstery
his wife was throwing out. He blinded us with shiny blue blazers and red girlie
beads and bands decorating his pony tail. The dark Ray Bans were the
only saving grace. Actually, we needed those more that him to protect our
sensitive eyes from the light bouncing off his disco dress.
Mallika Sherawat
Mallika wore a black dress to the premiere of Inglorious Bastards in LA and then decided that her underwear was too pretty to stay under so she slashed it completely to show us what lies beneath.
Mallika wore a black dress to the premiere of Inglorious Bastards in LA and then decided that her underwear was too pretty to stay under so she slashed it completely to show us what lies beneath.
John Abraham
John has managed to hold on to an acting career on the basis of
three facial expressions – teak, mahogany and rubber. But over the past one
year, he also grew so much
muscle that he could easily be mistaken for a tree trunk. And if that wasn't
enough, the other day he was seen at the airport in bathroom slippers, a ganji
and shorts that made us worry that his makaan maalik had thrown him out straight from the shower.
John has managed to hold on to an acting career on the basis of
three facial expressions – teak, mahogany and rubber. But over the past one
year, he also grew so much
muscle that he could easily be mistaken for a tree trunk. And if that wasn't
enough, the other day he was seen at the airport in bathroom slippers, a ganji
and shorts that made us worry that his makaan maalik had thrown him out straight from the shower.
Ayesha Takia
Ayesha Takia turned up at the Lakme Fashion Week in a shamiana that had obviously fallen on her on way. To prove that the show must go on, she came with it cheerfully
dangling around her neck.
Ayesha Takia turned up at the Lakme Fashion Week in a shamiana that had obviously fallen on her on way. To prove that the show must go on, she came with it cheerfully
dangling around her neck.
Vidya Balan
Doing her Dirty Picture director proud
also in wardrobe horrors Vidya Balan, took her Silk Smitha dressing to Press
conferences, publicity events and even real life. But fans
weren’t scandalized since we’ve seen her in her own clothes which are much
worse. Stick with silk saris Vidya, even you can’t go wrong there.
Doing her Dirty Picture director proud
also in wardrobe horrors Vidya Balan, took her Silk Smitha dressing to Press
conferences, publicity events and even real life. But fans
weren’t scandalized since we’ve seen her in her own clothes which are much
worse. Stick with silk saris Vidya, even you can’t go wrong there.
Ekta Kapoor
Not only has Ekta been scaring us with her tear-jerker soaps and
horror films like Ragini MMS, she has decided to personally add to the scare factor. For various award
ceremonies, premiers and parties, she turned up in tablecloths, bedroom
curtains, bed sheets and rugs. Occasionally, she was also spotted in stringy batik
print tops that she couldn’t decide needed to be tied around her neck or her
waist; so they fell somewhere in between.
Not only has Ekta been scaring us with her tear-jerker soaps and
horror films like Ragini MMS, she has decided to personally add to the scare factor. For various award
ceremonies, premiers and parties, she turned up in tablecloths, bedroom
curtains, bed sheets and rugs. Occasionally, she was also spotted in stringy batik
print tops that she couldn’t decide needed to be tied around her neck or her
waist; so they fell somewhere in between.
Rakhi Sawant
Rakhi Sawant kept showing up in shiny glittery stuff (her favourite fabric) that
looked like she had taken it off a dabba of mithai, mismatched shoes and bows
tied around her neck. By JEJUS ! One of these days Rakhi someone will give that bow an
extra twist and you’ll be left with no breath to “call the medias”.
Rakhi Sawant kept showing up in shiny glittery stuff (her favourite fabric) that
looked like she had taken it off a dabba of mithai, mismatched shoes and bows
tied around her neck. By JEJUS ! One of these days Rakhi someone will give that bow an
extra twist and you’ll be left with no breath to “call the medias”.
So happy new year everyone! Remember, we are nobodies which gives us a right to wear what we want, however hideous. So please continue to dress sloppy. Our famous friends, however, have to pay the price for stardom. Dress better next year, folks. Or don’t step out of your designer bedrooms. We’ll be watching you.
This piece was published as the new year cover story by Living, Deccan Herald: http://www.deccanherald.com/content/215528/heres-throwing-jimmy-choos-at.html
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