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Here's throwing Jimmy Choos at...

6/1/2012

16 Comments

 
These guys are rich, they’re famous, they’re loaded with enough cash to buy themselves the most exclusive labels in the world. They have no excuse to not be perfectly dressed 24 x 7. Yet they scared us out of our wits with their weird clothes and strange hairdos. Do we excuse them for inflicting their bad  taste on us? No, we don’t! For your reading pleasure, we are aiming some rotten eggs and tomatoes at the celebs who made holes in our eyes with their dress sense. Actually, a complete lack of it.

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Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan
Mrs Rai-Bachchan turned up at the Cannes red carpet in
a black and white ensemble with a tail (spelling intentional) that made her look
like a killer whale thrown out of water. She could have fooled us into believing she was auditioning for a role in the next Finding Nemo film. Only, she wasn’t looking cute enough. She also brought along a geometry box that passed off as a hand bag.
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Sushmita Sen
Giving Rai bad clothes company this year was her pal from the 
 Miss India days. At the IIFA awards, Sen had the gall to show up in a red and black satin housecoat that she had most definitely borrowed from the late Ashok Kumar. All she needed was a pipe and a cough and she could have passed off as Dada Moni reincarnated. To make her outfit weirder, she teamed it up
with pointy black witch boots that had audiences hoping she would get on a broom and fly off into the sunset. 
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Shahrukh Khan
Shahrukh does it best when he sticks to his black suits. But
this year he decided to get jackets cut out of the velvet sofa upholstery
his wife was throwing out. He blinded us with shiny blue blazers and red girlie
beads and bands decorating his pony tail. The dark Ray Bans were the
only saving grace. Actually, we needed those more that him to protect our
sensitive eyes from the light bouncing off his disco dress.

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Mallika Sherawat
Mallika wore a black dress to the premiere of Inglorious Bastards in LA  and then decided that her underwear was too pretty to stay under so she slashed it completely to show us what lies beneath.
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John Abraham
John has managed to hold on to an acting career on the basis of
three facial expressions – teak, mahogany and rubber. But over the past one
year, he also grew so much
muscle that he could easily be mistaken for a tree trunk. And if that wasn't  
enough, the other day he was seen at the airport in bathroom slippers, a ganji
and shorts that made us worry that his makaan maalik had thrown him out straight from the shower.

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Ayesha Takia
Ayesha Takia turned up at the Lakme Fashion Week in a shamiana that had obviously fallen on her on way. To prove that the show must go on, she came with it cheerfully
dangling around her neck.
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Vidya Balan
Doing her Dirty Picture director proud 
also in wardrobe horrors Vidya Balan, took her Silk Smitha dressing to Press
conferences, publicity events and even real life. But fans
weren’t scandalized since we’ve seen her in her own clothes which are much
worse. Stick with silk saris Vidya, even you can’t go wrong there.

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Ekta Kapoor
Not only has Ekta been scaring us with her tear-jerker soaps and
horror films like Ragini MMS, she has decided to personally add to the scare factor. For various award
ceremonies, premiers and parties, she turned up in tablecloths, bedroom
curtains, bed sheets and rugs. Occasionally, she was also spotted in stringy batik
print tops that she couldn’t decide needed to be tied around her neck or her
waist; so they fell somewhere in between.

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Rakhi Sawant
Rakhi Sawant kept showing up in shiny glittery stuff (her favourite fabric) that
looked like she had taken it off a dabba of mithai, mismatched shoes and bows
tied around her neck. By JEJUS ! One of these days Rakhi someone will give that bow an
extra twist and you’ll be left with no breath to “call the medias”.

So happy new year everyone! Remember, we are nobodies which gives us a right to wear what we want, however hideous. So please continue to dress sloppy. Our famous friends, however, have to pay the price for stardom. Dress better next year, folks. Or don’t step out of your designer bedrooms. We’ll be watching you.

This piece was published as the new year cover story by Living, Deccan Herald: http://www.deccanherald.com/content/215528/heres-throwing-jimmy-choos-at.html
16 Comments
SAM
6/1/2012 09:15:50 am

Dear Rachna,

Thanks . Nice piece.

I have started using Google reader and am reallllly enjoying it. Hope to subscribe to rss feed from your blog - makes it very convenient and saves you the trouble of emailing links to all..

Thanks Regards

SAM

Reply
Prithvi
6/1/2012 01:41:31 pm

Brilliant !!!

Reply
Ashu
6/1/2012 01:56:32 pm

Hey Rachu,

What's with starting the new year with Bollywood? Don't tell me you are planning next one on the Dhoni boys. That's too predictable for Rachu :-)

In any case, we commoners should be thankful (or disappointed ... depending on the frame of mind) that they are wearing something!

BTW - I liked your comments on SRK & John ... However, being a gentleman officer (though retired), I never look at women with a critical eye as long as they are fitting into my 55 degree field of vision ... and if are not, I don't see them at all :-)

Reply
geetanjali
6/1/2012 01:57:32 pm

Brilliant as always and hilarious :) Love your choice of topics as well as all your pieces, even the last one. Somehow my office comp has a compatibility problem so I was unable to comment last time as well. Logged on from home today

Reply
Anju
6/1/2012 09:04:13 pm

" LOL" in Capital letters .A wonderful start to New year n hope u'd have us glued to ur blogs on weekends .
As for the article marveled at the way u correlated Ash n her pal Sush with whales tail n Dada Moni . Ms Takia ,Kapoor ,Sherawat , Sawant ..brilliant collection of photographs n equally entertaining description ...loved it .

Reply
manoj rawat
6/1/2012 09:11:55 pm

Now you can understand why chunk of my money goes into buying gadgets and not clothes.

Reply
BIG B JB
6/1/2012 10:14:36 pm

Very Nice topic Ma'am...yeh these celebrities can do anything to get attention..it may be positive or negative.....Uff Mallika shehrawat....she can do anything to get cheap publicity and Rakhi sawant is giving her a tough competion......these people are very shrewed and cunning..they need attention....Don't forget Sherlin Chopra in this fame gallery.....she can beat hollow .......too good ...

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Anisha
6/1/2012 10:39:00 pm

fun read ... Love the humor

Reply
Mahendra
6/1/2012 10:53:30 pm

Well....I dont mind the females wearing those weird dresses since they increase the chances of wardrobe malfunctions. And that is always good for raising the BP of us middle aged fuddy duddies.

Reply
Y S Rawat
7/1/2012 03:20:08 pm

Not withstanding their professional compulsions, likes of Mallika Sahrawat or Rakhi Sawant or Ekta Kapoor would look equally offending in any dress or even with out one. Yes I certainly expect Aishwarya Rai (specially after adding Bacchan tag) or Vidhya Balan a better and respectable sense.

Reply
RITEN
8/1/2012 12:47:22 pm

In Players,Sonam wears different ear rings on each ear.While a large number of people scramble for Film star ensembles and hair styles,you have shown some Disaster Fashion sense,perhaps to bring home that all that shines is not gold.Loud mouths like Rakhi Sawant should be taken as Jokers in a pack.
Dress sense sure is a seventh sense and lack of it sometimes spells Genius too.Rachna,You surely would have spotted some of the wierdest dresses and a couple of Einstiens with the wildest hair styles.You could explore and build that in one of your stories.
Thanks for all the research to bring Celebrities on mother earth.

Reply
noopur
9/1/2012 10:03:25 pm

By Jesus..Rakhi Sawant took the cake, baker and the bakery with her mithai ka wrapper dresses..unfortunately could not see the shamiana around Ayesha Takia's neck ....some one give these people a make over !!

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puneet
21/1/2012 10:42:19 pm

wonderful. liked your keen observation and apt description of their horrendous dresses. where did you find these pictures?.. fabulous.

Reply
tanu
22/1/2012 01:33:37 pm

Do you remember a column in a film magazine ( stardust i think) which had a bollywood gossip colum called Neeta.s natter penned by shobha De again i think). Well you can take over where she left off-meeeeeewwwww!!!!!!! She would also give a crown to one celebrity and in this case i would have to give it to Mallika. Thats not even a fashion faux pas.You have to be totally off your rocker to wear something like that.......................................!.

Reply
Tanu
22/1/2012 01:35:45 pm

By the way Aiswarya looks like she is auditioning for a role of willy , the orca in free willy 3, not nemo.

Reply
Ritha Hegde
29/1/2012 09:10:45 pm

Oh god...wonder what they think when they read such articles!!! Change their designer? or decrease their pay by some lakhs? Poor people...I mean rich people only...but bechare...

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    Rachna Bisht Rawat is a full time mom and part time writer. She is married to an Army officer whose work takes the family to some of the most interesting corners of India.

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